i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
