so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
