the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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