oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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