I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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