i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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