I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
