I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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