He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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