How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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