Plan B is the new Plan A
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
