I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So many bounce houses so little time
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
