so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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