the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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