I hate your face
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
