You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
