just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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