Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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