you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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