the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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