Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
