i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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