You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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