I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just cropdusted the office
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I believe in your delicious
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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