I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
