Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
