Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
