Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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