Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize