apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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