playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A bitchslap is in order.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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