We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
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Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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