My pussy is not your playground.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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