Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
