tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
