I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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