I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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