After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
