woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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