You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
