But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
