just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize