What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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