im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
