It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
