The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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