If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize