I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also, beer. Big fan.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My ass is underappreciated
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
