I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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