She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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