We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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