It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
