Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
