Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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