Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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