How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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