I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
