All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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