theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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