Four minutes until I can fart!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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