nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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