After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
