Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
